New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives it to the poorer one..just like President Obama wants to do with his secret army of ACORN volunteers. Green Bay, Wisconsin, has a population of one hundred thousand. Yet this sleepy little town on the banks of the Fuck-if-I-know River has just as much of a chance of making it to the Super Bowl as the New York Jets--who next year need to just shut the hell up and play. Now, me personally, I haven't watched a Super Bowl since 2004, when Janet Jackson's nipple popped out during halftime. and that split-second glimpse of an unrestrained black titty burned by eyes and offended me as a Christian. But I get it--who doesn't love the spectacle of juiced-up millionaires giving one another brain damage on a giant flatscreen TV with a picture so real it feels like Ben Roethlisberger is in your living room, grabbing your s. Bill Maher
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More Quotes By Bill Maher
  1. There's an old, frequently-used definition of insanity, which is "performing the same action over and over, expecting different results.".. Now, I'm no doctor, but I am on TV. And in my professional opinion, George Bush is a paranoid schizophrenic....Other symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia are: Do...
  2. I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
  3. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
  4. The Bible looks like it started out as a game of mad libs.
  5. Saying someone is religious is heard in most of America as a compliment, a reassuring affirmation that someone will be moral, ethical, and after a few glasses of wine, a freak in the bedroom.
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